


Under My Skin

by CommonWhiteDude



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bucky Barnes Is a Good Bro, Football player Bucky, Happy Ending, Jealousy, Jock Bucky Barnes, Love Confessions, M/M, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Pre-Serum Steve Rogers, Self-Esteem Issues, Steve Rogers Needs a Hug, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-01
Updated: 2018-12-01
Packaged: 2019-09-02 16:13:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,897
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16790347
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CommonWhiteDude/pseuds/CommonWhiteDude
Summary: Steve Rogers has been in love for a long time with his straight-best-friend Bucky Barnes for a long time.Steve thought he had got the hang of hiding his feelings.But, like he will learn, bottling up your feelings maybe is not a smart idea.





	Under My Skin

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, guys! 
> 
> I know I should keep writing for my current work but I really had a bad day and needed something to write.  
> Fortunately, college is finally over so I can resume writing <3 (At least for this winter break lol)
> 
> Thanks a lot to [Neonbat](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Neonbat) for beta reading this work <3  
> With nothing further...
> 
> Enjoy! <3

The cold November air blew over the city, sending shivers through Steve’s body. He curled in on himself where he was sitting at the school’s bleachers. It did help to warm him up, at least until another wave of cold air would streak over him again. Steve knew better than to expose himself like that; he could wake up with another flu or fever, but it was an important game for Bucky, and Steve would be there for his best friend no matter what.

_’til the end of the line, right?_

The screams coming from the excited spectators startled Steve, bringing him back to the world, he looked at the field to see that Bucky had made another point for the team. Steve grinned with excitement as he stood up, shouting encouragements to the team,thought they were mostly for Bucky.

Bucky looked through all the people in the bleachers, directly at Steve, waving and bouncing with excitement at him, almost asking Steve if he had seen him playing.

Steve waved back, nodding and giving him a thumbs up. Steve could almost picture Bucky’s grin behind the helmet. The thought made his heart gave that jump it always did when Bucky smiled at him, and, as always, he pushed the feeling back.

Steve sighed, sitting back as the game resumed. He knew he had had a big crush on Bucky since a long time ago. Steve was still working to get over it, don’t get him wrong, but every day that passed carried with it more and more feelings to Bucky.

They were always together, doing homework, projects, playing video games, hanging out, whatever it was, Bucky was always with him. Those were moments Steve would always keep with him, no matter what. And it wasn’t just that, Bucky always looked out for Steve, finishing all his fights against his bullies alongside him. Bucky always told Steve he shouldn’t keep getting into fights with Rumlow, but Steve wasn’t going to let him get away with all the shit he pulled at him.

Also, Steve would never say it out loud but, Bucky was really _really_ good looking, everyone could see that. The way his gorgeous blue eyes shown when he laughed, and his grin, his shoulder-level hair, his stubble, his athletic body…to be honest, Steve would say everything about Bucky was perfect.

A blush crept through Steve’s face at the idea of Bucky knowing everything he thought about him. There was no way Bucky could ever know, Steve couldn’t imagine living without Bucky at his side, not just because it was his best and only friend, that didn’t matter —hell, Steve would rather have just Bucky if it meant never ever made a new friend, Bucky was more than he deserved—, but no one would ever know Steve as Bucky did.

Steve took a deep breath, pushing the thoughts away and forcing himself to focus on the game, it was an important night after all.

* * *

The scoreboard buzzed when the time finished. Bucky’s team ended up winning the game. Everyone around the bleachers was celebrating, clapping and screaming.

As Steve went alone to watch the game, he hurried up to try and get down the bleachers fast, so he could go and congratulate his best friend.

Despite his best tries, it did take more than he would have liked to get down from there, but it didn’t make Steve’s mood fall, he was used to being invisible to other people anyway.

He walked quickly to the lockers, where the football team was celebrating. Making his way through some of them who were leaving, he sat on a bench outside the lockers until Bucky would come out after a shower so they could go to their trademark coffeeshop after a win. They have being going there for a while everytime Bucky’s team won, even a few times when they lost too.

Steve adjusted the scarf around his neck, it was warmer inside, and the scarf was starting made his skin felt itchy.

After a while, Bucky finally emerged from the lockers, talking and laughing with some of his teammates, probably talking about the game. He grinned at Steve, said goodbye to his friends and walked to Steve, who was standing up to greet his friend.

“Hey, Stevie, did ya’ see that? I was amazing!” Bucky asked excitedly, suppressing a shriek, while hooking an arm around Steve’s neck.

Steve chuckled, cheeks taking a slight red color at the brunette’s action, “Yeah, of course, I saw it, Buck. Though I would say it was pretty cool.” He teased.

Bucky laughed, “Just _cool_? Jesus, Steve, you wouldn’t know what is fuckin’ amazing even if it hit you right on your face.” He said, ruffling Steve’s hair while leading them back to the parking lot near the field.

 _Well, I know you are and you haven’t hit me in the face._ Steve bit back the thought before it reached his mouth and focused instead on pushing himself away from Bucky’s grip. 

The cold wind hit Steve again as soon as they put a step onto the field, it was even worse than before because he got used to the warmth of inside the building. He shivered and adjusted again his scarf and sweater.

“You okay, buddy?” Bucky asked concerned, eyeing Steve.

Steve nodded quickly, folding his arms on his chest for warmth, “Yes, it’s just that I didn’t think it would be this cold outside.”

Bucky shook his head, clicking his tongue, yet he smiled, “It’s already winter, Stevie, you should be more careful,” he took off his S.H.I.E.L.D jersey and placed it over Steve’s shoulders and back, leaving himself on a black sweater that adjusted nicely to his figure, “Put it on, It’ll keep you warm,”

Steve blushed and proceed to do so, rolling up the sleeves to his hands could pop out, fighting again the warm feeling in his chest. _Hold it together, Rogers._

“Thanks, Bucky.” The ridiculously oversized jersey also smelled like Bucky too.

“So…” Steve continued after a moment of silence, while Bucky seemed to be looking for something around them, “Let’s go to the cafe before we both get frozen.”

“Huh?” Bucky asked confused before he got what Steve said, “I umm, shit, I thought I told you, I’d be going with Kelly tonight. It’s our month anniversary?” He smiled nervously.

Steve’s heart sunk, it felt like a punch to the stomach. Kelly has being Bucky’s kinda-girlfriend for the last month. Also, she happened to be the hottest cheerleader of the school, or that was what everyone said.

If Steve was honest to himself, he didn’t like Kelly at all, not just because she was dating the guy he had a crush on but also because she was a bitch and did not deserve Bucky. It was obvious she was using him because he was one of the most popular guys in the school.

Although Steve was kind of worried too, Bucky’s usual love interests were just for a week or so at much, he was a player, and it hurt Steve’s heart every time he went to his house to speak about the new _amazing_ girl he had just found. But Steve was already used that they would never last so it was a reassurance to his troubled self.

“Oh, yes! Sorry, I guess I forgot about that,” Steve said, scratching the back of his neck, faking a smile. 

“No problem, Steve,” Bucky dismissed him, side-hugging him, “Do you want us to give you a ride home?”

“Nah, it’s okay, Mom is leaving work early tonight, she can come for me.” It was a lie but Steve couldn’t deal with his feeling right now, and he could even less with Kelly kissing and being handsy on his best friend.

“You sure? I could just—”

Bucky was interrupted by a scream from the parking lot, “James, let’s go, babe!”

It was Kelly.

“I’ll be fine, Bucky. You go and have fun, all right?” Steve gave another fake smile towards the brunette, who still looked unsure, “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Yeah… all right,” Bucky mirrored, “See ya’ Stevie!” He hurried to the parking lot, waving to goodbye to Steve.

Steve sighed once Bucky was out of hearing range, the fog leaving his mouth was the only thing making him company on that cold, winter night.

* * *

Fortunately, Steve’s house wasn’t that away from the school, it was a long walk but at least it would help him to get his thoughts in order.

Steve took out his phone, he had texted half an hour ago to Bucky that he was already home, and it would have been if his mom had passed to pick him up. Steve knew she would do it but he didn’t want to bother her with such a simple thing, being a nurse was a already a hard job, and she needed to be relaxed.

Bucky just answered a “ _Sleep well Stevie”._

Steve sighed for what he felt like the hundredth time that night. It was a calm night, just a few people still walking on the usual busy street, probably everyone else was sheltering themselves from the cold, it wasn’t that bad outside though, or Steve told to himself.

The full moon was shining over him, giving everything a beautiful and dim glow. The noise of his shoes hitting the asphalt with each new step helped to ease the thoughts in his head.

It was so unfair that Bucky would never like him back, but how could he? Bucky obviously deserved better than him, not some skinny, asthmatic kid.

Really, what could Steve possibly offer Bucky back? All of his past girlfriends or hookups were shockingly hot. Always wearing their tight clothes and devilish smirks, showing themselves everywhere they went because they had a body to.

Steve couldn’t say the same, he didn’t like being skinny, or small; definitively not asthmatic. He preferred to be invisible, at least that way people wouldn’t make him feel like he was less than them. He pretended all those cruel things Rumlow and his bullies told him didn’t affect him, he needed to act strong for Bucky and his Mom, but he couldn’t keep the facade all the time. Sometimes, when no-one was home, he would cry himself to sleep, thinking about what they said and harmed him worst than any punch.

He sniffled, forcing the tears that were threatening to spill from his eyes down. He wouldn’t cry over it, he had never cried for Bucky and he would never do it. Bucky was his friend and he was grateful for it.

Steve hugged himself, the smell of Bucky from his jersey filling his nostrils. And if he closed his eyes, it was almost as if Bucky was there, hugging him.

Then, a light coming from a building at his side called his attention.

It was the coffee shop where they were supposed to go. Steve was supposed to turn right two blocks ago. Anyway, he was already there so he decided to buy hot cocoa for the rest of the way home. It was just a ten minutes walk, but it would be nice to be warmer.

Steve could already taste the delicious cocoa on his mouth, making him warmer inside, however, from the glass door, he could see two familiar figures sitting on a corner table— _their_ table—, facing each other, his heart skipped a bit, the pain blooming again.

Bucky brought Kelly to their place and their spot, and they were laughing and talking and then…they kissed.

Steve knew he should be happy for his best friend, but he couldn’t help the sting of jealousy that grew in him nor the shock that came over him. Jealousy for that part of Bucky that he could never have. He knew he should stop looking, to not harm himself that way but he couldn’t bring himself to it. Steve was frozen, but not from the cold of outside, because of his broken heart.

Hot tears finally made their way through Steve’s cold cheeks, making him release a shaky breath.

Suddenly he didn’t feel like having cocoa anymore.

Steve resigned, deciding it was time to go home before his Mom came back. However, he glanced one last time to his best friend through the window. Steve froze at that moment. Bucky’s gaze was locked with Steve’s from the table.

Before realizing it, Steve was running the hell out of there. He couldn’t come up with an explanation as to why he was at the coffee at that hour and with puffy eyes.

“Steve, wait!” Bucky shouted from the door, but Steve was already out of sight.

Tears started flooding again, and Steve could no longer hold them back. He turned on an alley that he knew was close and ducked beside some big boxes. Steve knew he could not outrun Bucky, so Steve hoped he could hide from him, also he needed to control his breathing or he would be having an asthma attack.

What was he going to do? Steve was scared, he could feel himself trembling but it wasn’t because of the cold anymore. He brought his knees up and hugged himself, sobbing quietly in case Bucky was near.

“Steve? You’re here?”

Steve tensed, holding his breath, wanting the wall to swallow him up. He could hear heavy steps coming carefully to where he was.

“There you are,” Bucky said gently, before sitting alongside Steve with a heavy sigh.

The brunette hooked a hand over Steve’s compacted form, retrieving it when the other boy tensed. A long silence grew between them, briefly broken by Steve’s muffled sobs.

“I-I know it sounds stupid but...you okay?” Bucky asked once he realized Steve wouldn’t do any talking first.

“I’m all right, Bucky, please leave," Steve answered though it came muffled because of his face hiding from Bucky.

“Come on, Stevie, you know me better than that. I won’t leave you here by yourself.” Bucky moved carefully closer to Steve when he realized the other teenager was shaking.

Steve raised his head to look at Bucky with puffy, red eyes and a pleading look, “Buck, please, just—please leave,” The blond begged, feeling as another stream of tears ran down his face at the lovely and patient look on Bucky’s face.

“Steve Rogers, I won’t be moving from here until you tell me what the fuck is going on,” Bucky warned seriously.

“I-I can’t—”

“You know you can talk to me about whatever’s going on in your life, punk.” Bucky reminded him, trying again to give Steve a side hug, and now he could leave his arm over his shoulders.

“No-not about this Buck, I-I can’t,” Steve stuttered, looking away from Bucky.

The silence came down again, Bucky didn’t know what to say and Steve didn’t want to.

Then, an idea of what was going on with Steve came to Bucky.

“Is it because Kelly?”

Steve hold his breath, did Bucky know? For how long? He turned to meet Bucky’s gaze but he was already looking at the wall in front of them.

“I-I don’t know what you mean,” Steve answered, decided to no assume that Bucky knew about his feelings.

“You do.” Bucky stated, looking again at Steve again, “I mean, I know I’ve been spending more time with her lately. Sorry.”

Okay, that was not what Steve had in mind that would happen, Bucky looked abashed, but before he could say something, Bucky continued.

“I should’ve known you needed me today. Instead, I just fucking left you on your own on the field as if you weren’t important for me.” Bucky looked at him with a sad expression, “If I had known you were feeling down I’d have dumped her there and come with you instead. The coffee isn’t as great when you ain’t there with me,” Bucky gave a weak smile, running a hand through his hair. Steve returned the smile only for a second before sadness overcame him again.

Steve felt his eyes got watery again, only Bucky would say is his fault that he is in such an emotional mess, “Thanks but it’s not—it’s not that. Just trust me it’s not that bad.” Another muffled lie, Steve shrugged, in another weak attempt as to brush it off.

“You left me no choice.” Bucky used his arm to held Steve tighter against himself, “We won’t be leavin’ until you speak…or one of us starts getting hypothermia. Whatever happens first, so…your call.”

Steve knew Bucky, and he knew he was serious. The silence grew between them, but Steve could feel Bucky’s warmth radiating from his bigger body. Finally, he decided it would be better to tell Bucky, he had no other choice. Besides, he has been his best friend since always, they could overcome this together.

Right?

“Bucky?” He started, fidgeting with the hem of Bucky’s jerseys on him.

“Yeah, Steve?”

“Can you promise me something? Before I tell you my…problem?” Steve asked, biting his lower lip, gaze on his hands.

“Sure, Steve, whatever is it. You know that.” Bucky tightened the semi-embrace a little. Gaze firmly on Steve.

“Please just promise you’ll still be my friend after this, I-I can’t lose you, please.” Steve’s lip was quivering where he had it bit, eyes glossy. “And don’t say anything until I finish.” He added with a much more firm tone after a taking a shaky breath.

“Hey, I’m with you ’til the end of the line, buddy. And that’s not gonna change, no matter what.”

Bucky waited patiently for Steve to start speaking again, not lessening his grip on his friend.

It felt like hours, but it was just minutes until Steve gathered enough forces to talk again.

“Look, Buck, I—umm, I think this’s been going on for a while, I can’t tell you when it started but I… I dunno, it just happened, I guess? What I’m trying to say is,” Steve took a big breath, stabilizing his voice, Bucky gave him a squeeze, giving him support. Steve looked up to the sky, keeping his tears at bay and also because he didn’t dare to look at Bucky.

“I think I’m in love with you.” He whispered, feeling like the confession would wake up the city.

Steve felt like a ton was removed from him, he felt so light like if Bucky stopped holding him he would go floating away. But that feeling of lightness went away as soon as he felt Bucky’s grip on him loosen and then just fell against him.

Scared, he quickly turned to look at Bucky, who had his hand over his mouth, the other at Steve’s back—but not like before, not it was just resting there, not providing any kind of comfort—, a shocking expression on his features.

The panic came over Steve, so, naturally, he started rambling.

“Bucky, I-I’m so sorry, I know you don’t—you don’t—” Steve started, choking up and trembling, looking at his lap, where his hands were gripping the hem of his sweater tightly, “Just don’t get me wrong, I-I do like you but I _do_ know I’m not y-your type so you’ve nothing to—to worry about, ‘kay? I mean, I’m just _me_ , I’m skinny, small and I’m not—I’m not a—” _woman._ His brain provided for him but he couldn’t say it, but he knew Bucky got it because he turned his head to see Steve.

“Shit,” Steve started sobbing again, “I really messed it up, didn’t I? I’m so sorry, Buck.” He covered his face with his hands, he couldn’t contain the tears nor the heavy sobs anymore.

Everything was lost. Bucky would never speak to him again and he would be alone; alone at home, alone at school, alone against bullies. The thought of loneliness was terrifying for Steve. If he could have just been stronger and deal with his feelings then everything would’ve stayed the same.

“Steve, I…look at me, Steve.”

Bucky’s voice and hand on his chin drifted him from the darkness of his mind. Letting his hands fall, Steve looked up to Bucky.

“Steve, you don’t need to be like anyone else. You’re already perfect the way you are, just as you are,” Bucky reassured, offering a smile.

Steve grabbed Bucky’s hand and, resting his cheek on it, said, “It’s easy for you to say, you’re the one that is perfect here.” Steve countered, tears stopping at the thought that at least Bucky would keep talking to him.

Bucky gave a dry laugh, “Trust me, Stevie, I’m really fucking far from it.” He caressed Steve’s cheek with his hand.

Steve sighed, “Well, what now?”, he asked with a worried voice.

Bucky chuckled, “ _Now_ is the part where I kiss you, dumbass,” he used his hand on Steve’s cheek to guide him to the kiss.

Steve stiffened, stopping his movement, “Bucky, please, don’t be an asshole. You know I don’t like pity.”

Bucky’s hand stayed where it was, their lips just a few inches apart, “It’s not pity… I just can’t believe you’ve felt the same all this time, Stevie,” his breath ghosted Steve’s skin.

“Do-does that mean you—”

“Fuck, yes.”

Bucky closed the distance between them. And _Oh God,_ it was as if Steve’s heart was beating again after a really long time.

Bucky’s lips were even softer than Steve had imagined, he could almost feel electricity flowing through both of them. All those years of waiting, that now Steve knew was mutual, was being healed for both teenagers. Steve threw both of his arms over Bucky’s neck, grabbing lightly at his back hair.

The angle between them was weird because of the side-to-side sitting but they couldn't care less. Not when Bucky started licking Steve’s lips, asking for entrance. Steve allowed it with a soft moan, feeling how Bucky explored Steve’s mouth greedily. Bucky’s thumbs caressing his cheeks and jaw.

Eventually, they had to snap out of it, in a loss of air. Resting their foreheads together, gasping for air, eyes closed with the joy of the moment.

“You know?” Bucky began, “Not that I mind at all but, doesn’t Sarah return home early tonight?”

That snapped Steve out of his trance, “Shit! You’re right,” he stood up, fixing his hair and clothes, “I think I should get going.”

Bucky mimicked his actions, “I think you meant _we_ ,” he gave a cocky smile, “There’s no way you’re going to get rid of me now.”

“But what about Kelly?” Steve asked, surprised. Bucky shrugged and gave him a funny look, “N-not that I want you to go back to her but, what happens with her?”

Bucky pretended to think for a moment, then shrugged again, “Considering I left without an explanation I guess she’s already at home.”

The blonde chuckled, “I guess it makes sense. Let’s get out of here.”

Bucky walked alongside Steve until they arrived at the blonde’s home, and now, unlike the other occasions, this time he didn’t hook his arm over Steve’s shoulders, now they went all the way holding each other hand.

Bucky found ridiculous how long it took them to be together, but he was fine now that they were. And one thing was sure, they would stay together.

_‘till the end of the line._

**FIN**

**Author's Note:**

> Apparently I'm in love with High Schools AU *shrug* Oh well!  
> I really loved how this turned out, these guys are going to be the death of me, I know.
> 
> I hope you loved it as much as I did writing it! Thank you so much for reading!  
> Comments are kudos are really appreciated <3  
> Come hang-out with me on my [Tumblr](https://common-white-dude.tumblr.com)!


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